


The Kili Encounter

by lunawolf8074



Series: dwarf shorts [32]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Dwarves, Elves, F/M, Gen, Snakes, Thorin Oakenshield and Company - Freeform, midgewater marsh, ori storyteller
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-23 06:28:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6107938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunawolf8074/pseuds/lunawolf8074
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili encounters a vile beast and its up to you to save him from it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kili Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> This is set right outside of Bree in the Midgewater Marsh region. Also, I checked on it and yes fear can cause an involuntary erection in men...so this situation can happen. It's part of the fight or take flight response paired with tactile manipulation....so poor Kili...its a mans nightmare to be turned on by a snake. I also looked it up and there is several varieties of non-venomous water snakes out there..I decided to use the Mississippi green water snake for this...how would you like to see this in your underwear?

Kili was staring the reptilian beast down...eye to eye...holding his breath as he waited for the vile creature to strike him down....beads of sweat caused by fear rolled down his spine as he stood there next to the slow moving water. Now you may be wondering how he came to this moment in his life as he stared death down in the eye and I'm going to tell you all how it came to be. I , Ori, son of Ri, have recorded this all for you within the journals of our travels. I swear to you it is all the truth...I should know ...for I was there to witness the events as they unfolded before me on this fateful day.

It all started when the company of Thorin Oakenshield was a few days out from Bree and they were having to cross the Midgewater Marsh to get to the other side because the Great East Road was being watched by spies. While in Bree ,Gandaulf and (Y/N), an elf that had joined the company, found out about some spies were keeping an eye out for the company along the Road...so in the middle of the night they sneaked out the gates and took a small northern route to avoid prying eyes. So here they were...leading their mounts as they walked along a grassy path that meandered through the marsh ...trying to not slip off of it and fall into the murky still waters that laid on both sides of this path . Everything seemed to be going well, until suddenly Kili tripped and fell down into the stagnant water...floundering for a moment as he tried to right himself...sputtering out the putrid water from his mouth then levering himself out of its fetid hold. Thorin looked in concern over at his nephew who waved him off that he was alright...a loud aggravated sigh left Thorin's lips as he turned back around ...signaling for the company to press on. They had only made it a few feet when suddenly a scream, like a woman's rang out startling all..even the horses jerked on their reigns briefly....all eyes flew to the only woman in the group, (Y/N)...then another scream that was coming from Kili.

"Oh Mahal! There's a something in my pants! Get it out! GET IT OUT!" everyone looked stunned for a brief moment ..then Dwalin began to laugh which made everyone else start in as his rich burred voice rumbled out.

"Yeah...Thats what all men say teh the lasses." he gave an astonished Kili a wink as he smirked over at (Y/N)...everyone knowing of kili's crush on the elvish woman since the moment their eyes met. As the company laughed at him a few noticed how his eyes suddenly went wide and became panicked even more...instantly Kili went rock still as he looked down at the front of his pants.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*KILI POV*

He was walking along behind everyone...being the last in the long line that was attempting to cross these blasted muggy marshes when for some reason his foot slipped from under him and he went down into the warm water. He levered himself out of its depths, spitting the foul liquid from his mouth in disgust as he stood up...swampy water dripping from his hair down along his face. Kili quickly wiped his face and saw his uncle giving him a concerned look...with a hand he indicated he was fine and everyone one turned away ..making their way along the path. As Kili took a step to follow he felt something move...up the leg of his pants...an involuntary scream left his lips that sounded like a woman's ( later if any one ever asked he would forever deny that it sounded like a womans...it was very manly, damn it). All eyes turned to look at (Y/N) thinking it was her and he almost let them all believe it ..until the moment the creature decided to move...into his underwear and he screamed out.

"Oh Mahal! There's a something in my pants! Get it out! GET IT OUT!" he saw all eyes focused on him and he thought he would get help, but Dwalins laugh doused any hope for aid as he winked at Kili and gave (y/n) a knowing smirk. Kili was about to correct him when suddenly he could feel it slithering around his private parts...curling itself around his delicates and he felt a cold chill shot down his spine and he looked down at his pants as a petrified squeak left his mouth. The beast began to move within the confines of his underwear and suddenly a new thought crashed through his brain as he felt something wiggle along his backside....a fervent prayer spiraled in his mind.

~Please don't find a cavern...please oh please oh please..don't think its a cavern~ Kili swears he hears something sealing shut...* SHHHWWWTT*...he's hoping it's his arse sealing shut and he lets out a whimper as he feels himself becoming aroused out of fear and feeling it wrapping itself around him in a very personal way. Bilbo, who's closest, hears it and something in the young archer prince's eyes tell him that maybe this isn't a joke...maybe it's real, so he makes his way over to the stiff prince and gestures for him to open his pants up for him. Kili closes his eyes as he eases the top of his pants away...being careful in not disturbing the beast in his pants while images of it sinking it's fangs into his manly parts swirled through his mind. Kili felt Bilbo reach down into his pants to extradite this monstrosity in his personal area...both held their breath...that is until Bilbo accidentally grabbed something he didn't mean to grab and made Kili scream loudly. Bilbo's face went white as his hand jerked out and he ran away...thinking the reason Kili shrieked was because the thing bit him. Kili thought in that moment that the thing bit Bilbo and he knew it was any only time before it sank it's fangs into him....in a flurry Kili began ripping his clothes off...uncaring who saw him naked in that moment. 

The moment all of his clothes were gone , Kili peered down and went pale at the sight that greeted him. There below was a dark green scaled snake entwined around his genitals and stones...staring up at him...their eyes focused on each other...neither wavering. He could feel himself breaking out in a cold sweat as he stared down at those baleful eyes...weighing him with its cold calculating slitted eyes...his breath trapped inside as he waited for the malevolent creature to strike. Because he was looking down he didn't see the look of horror crossing all his friends faces, otherwise he would of felt smug and said ~ See I wasn't making it up ...arseholes * sticking tongue out like a child*~ ...instead he stared at the creature wrapped around his manly parts...threatening the safety of his genitalia that was within it's cold scaly grasp. Kili believed in that moment that it was all over for him...any moment he was going to be bit and he would die...there was no way he was going to let anyone chop anything off...he rather die than let that happen. It was the appearance of (Y/N) making her way over to him that gave him a sliver of hope that there was a way to save his family jewels from this ferocious beast. She slowly eased closer to where Kili stood frozen...his eyes focused downwards...trying to radiate calmness to the dwarven prince so he wouldn't panic any more than he already was.

"Kili." she whispered into the silence...he squeaked out ~Yes~ she slowly came closer. "Hold still. I'm going to remove it." she could see Kili's eyes never wavered in their focus as she slowly reached out...her elvish ears catching a frantic chant falling from his lips.

"Not a cave...not a cave..not a cave....." (Y/N) paused briefly as her hands began to shake from silent laughter...he saw them shaking out of the corner of his eye and thought it was out of fear...breaking his chanting litany as he shakily spoke. "Are you sure about this (Y/N)?" she smiled at him as she gave him her response that hopefully quelled his fears.

"Yes, my prince. Trust me, please. I have extensive experience with this sort of creature....trust in me and I will extract it from you safely." he gingerly nodded his head at her as her small hands very gently began to detach the serpent from his tenders...his blush at the realization that his crush was touching such a very personal and private area flared up all over...covering his torso in a blazing blush. To his joyful relief she made quick work removing it from him...the moment he felt it uncoiled from him he took off like a shot and hid behind Fili as he watched (Y/N) holding the malicious viper in her grip....a smile twitching on her lips as she held it up...Kili voice cracked as he hollered out.

"Quick (Y/N)! Throw it away before it bites you!" he instantly became confused as he saw her laughing...slowly bringing the snake up closer to her face.

"No, my dear Prince...I do not fear this creature. It's probably more frightened of you than you are of it." she could see his confusion and heard a few murmurs of ~WitchCraft~ that made her laugh even more. "No good sirs...it's not witchcraft at all. See this poor snake isn't poisonous in the slightest...its a green water snake and they are perfectly harmless, unless your a frog or rat." slowly she bent over and released the snake into the water where it slithered off as fast as its serpentine body could take it. As she straightened up she could see some some men hiding their snickers at the poor young prince...some glaring from a few others- Thorin and Fili... bit the one that made it all worth while was the look of hero worship upon Kili's face , not caring that he stood before her in all his natural glory as she shyly approached. Ever so tenderly he took her hand within his own...holding it in a regal manner as his rich lilting voice caressed her ears.

"Thank You (Y/N) for saving me from that vile monster that held me deeply within its grasp." he slowly leaned over her hand to kiss it and as his breath brushed against her knuckles he whispered with all the nobility within him. "My hero." then his warm lips touched her hand ..sending electric shivers along her nerves and making her cheeks flame up...his eyes twinkling as he knew (Y/N) returned his feeling in that moment.

 

So I , Ori...the esteemed Historian of the Company of Thorin Oakensheild hereby vow and swear that all you have read is nothing but the truth....I know, because I was there.


End file.
